Poor Pluto

I feel bad for the little guy. Why? He’s just been demoted to a dwarf. I feel like everything I was taught during 5^th grade science is a lie. I remember making those solar system models…there were always nine planets. Nine, not eight! Who do those astronomers think they are anyway? I think they may just have ruined my faith in everything I ever learned in public school. Next thing you know tomatoes will be classified as a fruit instead of a vegetable and people will say that someone else wrote Shakespeare’s plays. I just can’t have any reminders of a failed school system in my home, so I have to get rid of my Pluto phone.

He really has been great—he doesn’t drool on the receiver and his tail wags whenever someone calls. And I want him to go to a good home, so he is yours for only $20. And, remember, he won’t take up too much space—he is a dwarf after all.